systemhalted by Palak Mathur

Last Few Years

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We are few days into the new year and have high hopes that this year will be great for all of us. Looking back past few years, I realize that I have learnt a lot but the thing that matters is how much I am able to implement the learning through my action. Past few years, till last August have been overwhelming me with a lot of things that kept me aloof from the fun, music, poetry, literature, history and family.

In 2005, I passed my engineering and waited for 8 months for a job - tried different things to do but failed in all. In March 2006, I got offer from Infosys and joined it. The four months at Infy Mysore still remains the best time that I had with a sense of belonging. In Feb 2008, I got my first CRR. Having worked for a year and when I say a year - I literally mean it as we all didn't had any leaves or vacation during the time my first project was under way of development, I was expecting CRR 1. With 50% people in the group sharing CRR 1 it was not difficult, but when I got to know my CRR, I kept checking the whole page for 15 minutes to see whether my CRR rating changes or not - but it didn't. It was CRR 2. Many people who have got CRR 1, I have never thought of them getting any other rating however, given to understand that they have got other favours as well, CRR 1 for them was practically not right if you want to keep a team united. If we leave aside the last sentence, still a CRR 2 was not at all the thing that I deserved.

Before that CRR, lets move few months back. CRR was in Feb 2008, let us move to May 2007. I am on my desk with a SPM sitting beside me. It is 2 in the morning and I am trying to integrate my module with another module that is behaving very strangely. Everyone wants it to be done. But I have nothing that I could do. I make few changes in the other modules stored procedure in the database, and it starts working. 4 am is the time. Everyone leaves. I stay back and continue with work thinking I will leave in half an hour. I didn't realize when the housekeeping guy comes and ask me for dust bin. I check the system clock it is 7:30 am. I am shocked. It has been 24 hours that I left home last day. I think that I will leave in a while. But people start pouring in. Finally I leave at around 8:30 PM in the evening. 37 hours in office - without a sleep.

Now let us come forward to June 2007. The day is a meeting in which SPOT Awards are distributed. Module name is announced: Scenario Builder and everyone starts looking at me and the name is announced. WOW!! It is not me!!! Someone else. After working for so many days, effort seem to go wasted. I try to keep myself calm. But the eyes of the people around me keep asking - What happened? How the hell do I know. Ask Kuldeep!!!

I was suggested by someone to go easy on work and do not over-indulge myself with it. I tried to do so on that day, but next day I again started the way I was working with 100% devotion and in Feb 2008, I got the result - CRR 2.

I wrote a mail to everyone I knew in the management - a sarcastic one. But I wanted to shout on someone. Wanted to enter into Jamuna Ravi's office and scream at her, go to Satish HC's office and make his office topsy turvy. But did nothing like that. I refused to discuss anything with anyone.

June-July-August-September (2008)- All went wrong. Satish, Kunal, Deepak and Meraj helped me a lot in these months. I don't know what action would I have taken if these people were not there. Thank you buddies!

Last year in July I switched gears and joined IBM.

In August someone came into my life and changed it completely. I was back again. Back into the real me!! In November got married to her.

Now, I know, that whatever will come my way - we will face it together!!